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So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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Dinner’s a whole other saga. My mom’s making her famous stuffed peppers. I’m like, “Mom, you’re a culinary genius!” But then, my little brother decides to show off his new dance moves. He knocks over the whole pot! Peppers everywhere! I’m dying of laughter, and my mom’s just standing there, hands on her hips, like, “Really?”

How Netanyahu's campaign against Israel's Arab citizens backfired